on this beautiful day i dragged myself out of bed for my morning run. and yet again ran into some questionable characters on the trail. so odd. on my way to work i looked down at my gas tank for the third time, knowing very well i wasn't going to make it.. so i was a little late. had to take the long route. i hate forgetting to fill up my tank. it's not like i don't have the money, that's the annoying part. the rest of my day just went really slow and was relatively non-eventful. it would have been considered a bad day if i hadn't gotten off early. i was sooo happy. changed my day around. oh, and i don't have to go in until one tomorrow. :) which means i can get my beauty sleep, still have time to work out, and pick up the house before my mom returns from oklahoma. on the agenda for tonight : another run or at least some P90x... and then jared is coming over to make some apple berry crisp. my specialty! i'm so ready to just relax and have no proof sets or anything to do.
one thing that's on my mind. talking to my friend today, who will remain name-less. and he had the nerve to tell me that he's a better friend to me than i am to him. which honestly, just straight up isn't true. no one reads this beside myself so i really have no reason to fib. i have always been there for this kid. and although he lives across the country, i think i do a pretty good job keeping in touch with him considering i have a full time job and am often extremely busy. it just really upset me. he doesn't have a job right now. so i feel like because he has all of this time to devote to our friendship and i don't, suddenly he's a better friend than me. that's ridiculous. guh.
i feel like i'm not saying everything that i should.
soon.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
baby steps.
i can't believe i'm actually doing this. i'm not sure if i've entirely committed to it in my mind just yet. but i guess it won't hurt to try. it's been such a long time since i've attempted to display my feelings through words. it used to come so naturally. now i feel a little self-conscious. a little guarded. not wanting to say too much in fear of... what? what is it exactly that i'm afraid of? i know how to be myself. and i think for the most part i've pretty much accepted myself. so what's the problem?
maybe i just feel like all the words have been taken. everything there is to say has been said. who doesn't have a blog these days? who isn't out there wanting someone to pay attention to them, take a closer look? well, i can't let that get to me. this is for no one else. just me. and i think it'll be a bit of a stress reliever. so, here goes.
let's start of with something simple.
like my morning run. it was actually really chilly out there this morning. i only had enough time to do three miles. and about half a mile down the trail, i saw a big maroon van pull in. which is odd, because you're not supposed to see cars on a community bike path. i got a little scared, i must admit. and i saw a couple kids climb out. kids as in teenagers. i kept running and the van was taking up the majority of the path and then two guys were just standing in the only little sliver i had left to run. they moved just in time. it was awkward and they smelled like smoke. anyways, i think they were some juvenile delinquents or something. trimming up the brush on the side of the trail.
you know what the best thing is about a chilly morning run? coming home with your cold nose and your numb fingers and taking a steaming hot shower. there's nothing like it.
the high light of my day was probably when brittany was flailing about the studio uncontrollably to some crazy music the leather man was playing. it made me really happy. and i grinned really wide and my eyes started to water from laughing so hard. it just made me forget about anything and everything i was worrying about. i like those moments.
dinner was tasty. spaghetti squash with lamb and mushrooms and tomato sauce. plus a greek salad i accidentally poured way too much lemon-garlic dressing on. it was intense. i can still taste it.
i wanted to go on a walk this evening. but jared and i just watched office space. and now it's 10:37 and i have to be up early and i'm pretty tired anyway. hopefully tomorrow.
it may not be everything i want it to be. but i'm just warming up. getting my toes wet.
and regardless of how down i get sometimes, i'm really thankful. thankful for this wonderful and blessed life God has given me. He continually amazes me.
maybe i just feel like all the words have been taken. everything there is to say has been said. who doesn't have a blog these days? who isn't out there wanting someone to pay attention to them, take a closer look? well, i can't let that get to me. this is for no one else. just me. and i think it'll be a bit of a stress reliever. so, here goes.
let's start of with something simple.
like my morning run. it was actually really chilly out there this morning. i only had enough time to do three miles. and about half a mile down the trail, i saw a big maroon van pull in. which is odd, because you're not supposed to see cars on a community bike path. i got a little scared, i must admit. and i saw a couple kids climb out. kids as in teenagers. i kept running and the van was taking up the majority of the path and then two guys were just standing in the only little sliver i had left to run. they moved just in time. it was awkward and they smelled like smoke. anyways, i think they were some juvenile delinquents or something. trimming up the brush on the side of the trail.
you know what the best thing is about a chilly morning run? coming home with your cold nose and your numb fingers and taking a steaming hot shower. there's nothing like it.
the high light of my day was probably when brittany was flailing about the studio uncontrollably to some crazy music the leather man was playing. it made me really happy. and i grinned really wide and my eyes started to water from laughing so hard. it just made me forget about anything and everything i was worrying about. i like those moments.
dinner was tasty. spaghetti squash with lamb and mushrooms and tomato sauce. plus a greek salad i accidentally poured way too much lemon-garlic dressing on. it was intense. i can still taste it.
i wanted to go on a walk this evening. but jared and i just watched office space. and now it's 10:37 and i have to be up early and i'm pretty tired anyway. hopefully tomorrow.
it may not be everything i want it to be. but i'm just warming up. getting my toes wet.
and regardless of how down i get sometimes, i'm really thankful. thankful for this wonderful and blessed life God has given me. He continually amazes me.
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